In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You, Lord, alone make me dwell in safety and confident trust. Psalm 4: 8
She just left one job and now on to the next. The second job requires her to be faced down on her knees scrubbing in between the grooves of the kitchen floor tile that was neatly placed. She then has to assure that dinner is made and all is placed in proper order before leaving to her next job. Her third job requires the keep of three children that she is proud to call her own. The tired look on her face express what's in a hard days work, but the calm grip of her hugs at bedtime express the love she had for us.
I remember the sounds of many gospel artist that would play throughout our home. But one in particular was by gospel recording artist Shirley Ceaser. When mommy would cry she would play this one record "Jesus I love calling your name" by Shirley Ceaser. My mother would lift the handle to the record player to this one song over a hundred times in a day. That song dried many tears, and eased the pain of many nights. As a young child and even into my teenage years I would fall asleep at night singing that song in a whisper until I fell off to sleep. That song would play aloud in my head blocking out the music of his cussing, ranting, & raving roars of a demon he loss war to over & over again.
To most, it's no secret my childhood was not a pleasant one. With one parent losing self control to the disease of drug abuse obviously made life quite difficult & seemingly unfair. It's so much hurt that I recall as a child, that it almost seems cruel to now mention in my father's absence from this world. If life for me at that time was hardened to bare imagine what it was like for my mother. I think about how she could have chose so many different routes to deal with all that she went through. She didn't drown in her sorrows by drinking, smoking, cursing, partying, or anything else that would keep us from seeing her as the strong courageous loving being that she was. She would gather us together pray & play that familiar song that would remind us just who to call on.
I thank God for that. Now that I'm all grown up, I have some days of tears that flow not just for myself, but for many of those that are also going through what I'm going through. It angers me to the core that this cancer thing is ripping through so many young women. Hate is a strong word to use this is true, but I hate Cancer, and everything it puts one through. I'm a fighter it's in my bloodline, but many don't have that sense of strength in them. As a young woman literally living this thing day by day, the ups & downs, and all that accompanies this battle, I for one can tell you there is no way I could do this without God. I don't know what your story reads, what your song sings, or what your walk is like, but I do know, it is Nobody but Jesus that can be our footsteps when we're too frail to journey on. You may agree with me or not, but try him. It's nothing like having true peace in the valley.....Nobody But Jesus... smile you're here:)